A Cupful of Smiles
Went to my favorite coffee-house,
ordered a tall mild.
Took my cup to the side
and removed the lid.
To my surprise
What I was holding,
was not a cup of coffee,
but instead,
what I found inside was..
Friendship,
Laughter,
Conversation,
Love,
Sharing,
Togetherness,
Warmth,
and most of all,
A cupful of Smiles.
The littlest of things can make the biggest impressions on our souls.
May each one of us be mindful of the little things in life.
My love and metta to you.
Michael
_/|\_
Disconnecting to Reconnect
Sitting on hold, frustrated, time slipping by, I noticed an attachment I didn’t realize I had. It was causing some suffering that I was in control of and able to easily eliminate. Unfortunately, for about 40 minutes or so I wasn’t mindful of this so it was causing a bit of heaviness and stress. What was my attachment to? I almost feel silly to admit, but it was my ability to connect to the internet.
But was it actually the not being able to connect that was causing the suffering. Nope, not at all. It was the attachment I had to being able to connect that was the cause. I think a lot of us get confused sometimes as to what it really is that is the root of the pain we bring upon ourselves. We point fingers at people, blame the media, music, comments from others, when all the while it is ourselves that are the cause. Sure these things may bring about and trigger some sort of feeling inside us but it is not their fault. We are the fault. We choose to attach emotion to situations, comments, and other obstacles that arise through out our lives. Being mindful of these emotions is something we need to focus on.
When I was sitting here this morning, running back and forth from room to room, because I refuse to purchase a cordless phone, I could feel the weight of the stress building up on my shoulders. When ever the person on the other end of the phone told me something that didn’t correct the issue at hand it only led to more stress and unneeded emotion. It wasn’t until I stopped to take a breath and gather my thoughts, that I realized what the true problem was. At that very moment I could already feel some relief. Because I recognized the root cause, and from then on was mindful of my thoughts and actions, everything just started to fall into place. It still took time to reconcile the issue at hand, but the issue at hand didn’t feel like an issue anymore. It simply felt like something that had to be fixed and there was now a light at the end of my tunnel.
Once the matter at hand was finished and I was off the phone and able to reconnect I decided it was time to take a break for a while to reconnect with myself. Mindful of the fact that I was growing an attachment, I wanted to sit with my thoughts and resolve it before it got out of hand.
We are all going to have moments of discomfort. Well, at least I know I am. I am not an Enlightened being and therefore need to practice mindfulness at all times. I need to recognize my faults and do what I can to prevent unwanted and needless suffering. I’m grateful that over the years these moments are fewer and far between and I am grateful that when they do occur I am at least mindful enough to pause and breath. Usually that’s all it takes, then I can redirect my energy and let go and let be. So the next time something seems to be going not the way you wish, and unwanted feelings start to arise, take a moment and breath. Then ask yourself honestly, what is the root cause. If you possess the humility and integrity to deal with the honest truth, you will also possess the ability to change.
May we approach all obstacles in life mindful, honest, open and full of compassion.
My love and metta to you as always.
Michael
_/|\_
Being honest with ourselves
Being open and honest with yourself. Sit with yourself. Get to know yourself. Be friends with yourself. Showing compassion for others is much easier when you have compassion for yourself. A wonderful video. A wonderful person. Thank you for taking the time to watch this.
May we all learn to be honest with ourselves, to be friends with ourselves and find the strength within to address our fears so we may be of more benefit to ourselves and all beings.
My love and metta to you as always.
Michael
_/|\_
A quiet mind
Had a wonderfully peaceful day painting a bathroom. I really enjoy painting, gives me time to listen and observe my thoughts. Funny thing is, the more and more I practice, fewer thoughts arise. As I was sitting there on the floor, hunched over a toilet painting baseboard trim I could only hear my breath. It was nice.
I took a few moments to look back at the years when I always had to have noise in the background to drown out my thoughts. I remember how my days used to go. Waking up, going into the bathroom and before getting in the shower, I would turn on the radio or pop in a cd. Then I would go into the kitchen to prepare my lunch for the day, once again, reaching over to turn on the radio. I would then get into my car and sit there trying to figure out what I wanted to listen to on the way to work. Once I decided I would pop it in and drive. If it was a day where I was working alongside my brother I would do anything I could to remain in useless conversation, talking about anything and everything and usually doing so with my mp3 player kicking off tunes in the background. Sometimes we would have to yell to each other because the music was so loud. If it were a day I was working alone, on went the headphones and even though they hurt my ears I refused to take them out. The silence killed me. Work would end and back in the car I went, cd in ready to go. As I entered my home I would click on the TV or sit down to a video game, anything to keep my mind off my thoughts.
What was it about the silence or my thoughts that drove me crazy? My inability to acknowledge them and then let them go. I used to have the hardest time letting things go. Someone would say or do something, I would misinterpret it and then hang onto whatever feeling it brought up within me and grasp at it with all my might. It would literally eat at me all day.
Now I sit here typing this blog in complete silence. My wife is relaxing in the other room with one of our cats, my daughter is reading and my son is quietly drawing. Once again the only sound I hear besides the pressing of the keys on this board, is my breath. It’s truly a wonderful thing. Is it like this every moment of every day? No. I still have moments of random thoughts. But I acknowledge them and let them go. As with everything in life, thoughts too, are impermanent.
May you learn to acknowledge your thoughts, let go and let be.
My love and metta to you as always.
Michael
_/|\_
Good Dog, Bad Human.
This morning I succumbed to the my Ego and was taught a huge lesson by a very small being.
I started my day pretty much as usual. Got up took a shower and headed to the kitchen. Part of our family is a little 10 pound Shi’tzu whose name is Chloe. This little being taught me a tremendous lesson today and I owe her a huge thank you and a yummy treat. Chloe sleeps in bed with us and when I wake in the morning she knows that it is not her time to leave the room until daddy returns from the shower. At that point I open the door and let her out into the room with me. Now as my normal routine would bring, this is her que for her morning walk. But today I was caught up in the solidity of self. I had a few things on my mind and wanted to take care of something important, but in the process I was ignoring poor little Chloe. She went to the front door to give me her que she had to pee but instead of the normal response I looked at her and said, ‘Just give me one minute ok.’ Well. As I know from experience, even as a grown adult, holding your pee can sometimes be quite the trick. At times we are even woken in the middle of the night, out of a sound sleep to have to relieve ourselves. Well, this morning, Chloe really had to go. She waited patiently for that minute to pass and oofed again for my attention. I turned and looked at her and then started to look away, thinking to myself, ‘I just need a little more time.’ Well, as I looked back at her we locked eyes and Chloe let loose, Peeing all over the floor. I was not happy. I ran to her and picked her up and told her no. I didn’t yell or beat her, gosh I’m not that bad, but I did tell her she was a bad dog and put her in her cage. After I cleaned up the mess she left me I went back to ‘me’.
Shame on me!
I continued getting ready and right before I left for work I let her out of the cage and into the room with my wife and gave her my love. I was very unhappy with my actions, but it was too late. All I can do now is ask for her forgiveness and offer her a prayer for my ignorance.
All the drive to work and pretty much all of the morning I felt absolutely terrible. I try so hard to be mindful of every thing I do. I put tremendous effort into making sure I put others before me and here I am, mindlessly ignoring the one who always shows me pure unconditional loving compassion.
Why did I do this? Because I gave into my ego. I didn’t let go and just let be. I let my ego convince me that ignoring her, even for the little bit of time I did, was ok. That what I was trying to do was more important. Well you know what, it may have been important, but it should have been handled much differently.
Do not succumb to your ego. Be mindful of your thoughts and actions at all times and if something doesn’t feel right, Stop! Take a few moments and breath. Question your intention. Question your motivation and put yourself in the other beings position. When we try to solidify ourselves and put labels on what we do, chances are we are going to make mistakes. The problem I have sometimes is, like I said, I try too hard and put in too much effort. Sometimes I get so caught up in the effort I forget what I am trying to put the effort into. I don’t let go and just let be. When you let go and let be and live mindful in the present moment you can feel the energy around you. I felt what Chloe wanted, and I knew what I should have done. I was wrong for my actions and was taught a lesson.
May we live mindful in every moment and approach every great lesson as a great student. May we learn from our mistakes and have the integrity and humility to admit when we are wrong.
My love and metta to you as always.
Michael
_/|\_
What’s your motivation?
Every day we all have thoughts. We all teach someone something, whether it be our children, our friends, co-workers or even our selves. Every day things are pointed out to us. People are constantly trying to tell us something about something which most of the times is usually nothing. We search for answers to questions large and small. We look to religion, books, music, you name it, to try to find these answers. Well my question to you is this.
What’s your motivation?
What are you trying to get out of the questions you seek the answers to? Will those answers be of benefit to you in any way other than just satisfying the need to know? Will they even satisfy your need to know? Probably not.
Will those answers be of benefit to others in any way?
I use the internet a lot, I enjoy it. Although I do see a lot of people posting a lot of negative stuff. They point out people who are suffering in earthquakes and floods. They point out people getting shot or accidents that brought lives to an end. If you are one of these people, ask yourself, what is your motivation behind this? Can pointing out the suffering of others relieve their pain? Can pointing out the suffering in others benefit ones who are not suffering in these tragedies? Many posts through out the day are he said she saids. This one trying to say this one is or isn’t something. People trying to say their beliefs are better. Bashing others and putting them down. I don’t understand any of it. What is the motivation behind it? Most of the time it’s just one big game of ego vs ego. Once again, ask yourself, will this be of benefit to anyone?
I get asked many questions throughout my day, most of which are metaphysically based. I wonder what the motivation is behind these questions. I try to answer them in a way that will be of benefit. But if they are being asked to try to resolve the who, what and whys of the world, no answer I give will help. So what’s the motivation? Even if I gave you proven facts about the origin of the universe and which belief you should follow, how is this going to end suffering? How is this going to benefit you or others in any way?
Last night while driving home from the grocery store I was at a traffic light. It was red and there was a car waiting as I coming from the opposite direction. I was turning left and knew I had plenty of time, without fast acceleration and without him having to not accelerate or apply brakes for me to turn safely. As the light turned green I turned and as I did I made eye contact and thanked him. He wailed his horn, threw his hands up and flipped me off with his wife in the passenger seat and two children in the rear. What was his motivation? Why did he feel as if he was done an injustice?
Now I can go on and on, but I think you are beginning to get the point. We need to stop worrying about things that we have no control over. Questions that even if we had the answers to wouldn’t do a damn thing to help us in our day-to-day struggle to survive and live compassionately. What we need to focus on is our motivation behind what we do. We have to practice proper motivation of our views, our intentions, our speech, our actions, our livelihood, our efforts, our mindfulness and our concentration. We have to accept the fact the we ALL suffer. I tell this repeatedly to my wife and children. Do not take suffering personal. Everyone suffers. We have to truly accept this fact. If we do not accept this fact we will never give ourselves the opportunity to grow, to change, to awaken, or to live with full loving compassion for all beings. We will always feel as if we are being punished and we are being done an injustice.
So the next time you think, talk, type, or communicate to another in any way, ask yourself what the motivation is behind your topic or question. Ask yourself, will this be of benefit to another being.
May we all be motivated by compassion in the hopes to benefit all beings.
My love and metta to you as always.
Michael
_/|\_
Wrong Intentions
This post is inspired by a good friend Sarah (_karmadorje) and her heart warming concern for the well-being of others. There are many people out there who pose as people they are not. Why they do such a thing, what intentions they may have or what motivation drives them is beyond me. I hope that it is only out of sheer ignorance of their ego that they do what they do and that one day they will see this and learn. But as the story I am about to share with you proves. What goes around, truly does come back around. I apologize for the length of this post but I ensure you it is well worth the read.
This is a teaching Buddha gave to Prince Ajatasattu and four hundred children about the Way of Awareness and Love. It is taken from the wonderful book ‘Old Path White Clouds’ by Thich Nhat Hanh, and goes as follows:
“Today I would like to tell you a story that took place several thousand lifetimes ago. It is the story of a heron, a crab, a plumeria tree, and many small shrimp and fish. In that life, I was the plumeria tree. Perhaps one among you was the heron or the crab or one of the shrimp. In this story, the heron was a wicked and deceitful creature who caused death and suffering to many others. The heron made me, the plumeria tree, suffer, too. But from that suffering, I learned a great lesson and that was – if you deceive and harm others, in turn, you will be deceived and harmed.
“I was a plumeria tree growing close to a fragrant, cool lotus pond. No fish lived in that pond. But not far from that pond was a shallow and stagnant pond in which many fish and shrimp and one crab lived. A heron flying overhead saw the crowded situation of the fish and shrimp and devised a scheme. He landed at the edge of their pond and stood there with a long, sad face.
“The fish and the shrimp asked him, ‘Mister Heron, what are you thinking about so seriously?’
“‘I’m thinking about your poor lot in life. Your pond is muddy and foul. You lack adequate food. I feel terrible pity for your hard lives.’
“‘Do you know of any way to help us, Mister Heron?’ asked the small creatures.
“‘Well, if you would allow me to carry each one of you over to the lotus pond not far from here, I could release you in the cool waters there. There is plenty to eat over there.’
“‘We would like to believe you, Mister Heron, but we have never heard that herons care anything about the lot of fish or shrimp. Perhaps you only want to trick us in order to eat us up.’
“‘Why are you so suspicious? You should think of me as a kind uncle. I have no reason to deceive you. There really is a large lotus pond not far from here filled with plenty of fresh, cool water. If you don’t believe me, let me fly one of you over there to see for himself. Then I’ll fly him back to tell you whether or not I’m telling the truth.’
“The shrimp and fish discussed the matter at some length before at last agreeing to allow one of the elder fish to go with the heron. This fish was tough and bristly, his scales as hard as stones. He was a swift swimmer who could also maneuver well on sand. The heron picked him up in his beak and flew him to the lotus pond. He released the old fish into the cool waters and let him explore every nook and cranny of the pond. The pond was indeed spacious, cool, refreshing, and a plentiful source of food. When the heron returned him to the old pond, the fish reported all he had seen.
“Convinced of the heron’s good intentions, the shrimp and fish begged him to fly them to the pond one by one. The crafty heron agreed. He picked up a fish in his beak and flew off. But this time, instead of releasing the fish into the pond, he landed near the plumeria tree. He placed the fish in a fork of the tree and ripped off its flesh with his beak. He tossed its bones by the plumeria’s roots. Then he returned to transport another fish. He devoured it as well, and discarded its bones by the foot of the plumeria tree.
“I was that plumeria, and I witnessed all this taking place. I was enraged, but there was nothing I could do to stop the heron. A plumeria’s roots are firmly anchored in the earth. There is nothing a plumeria can do but grow branches, leaves, and flowers. It cannot run anywhere. I could not call out and warn the shrimp and fish about what was really happening. I could not even stretch my branches to prevent the heron from eating the helpless creatures. I could only witness the horrible scene. Every time the heron brought a fish in its beak and began to tear at its flesh, I was filled with pain. I felt as if my sap would dry up and my branches break. Drops of moisture like tears collected on my bark. The heron did not notice. Over a number of days, he continued to bring the fish over to devour them. When all the fish were gone, he began to eat the shrimp. The pile of bones and shells that piled up by my roots could have filled two large baskets.
“I knew that as a plumeria tree my job was to beautify the forest with my fragrant flowers. But at that moment I suffered terribly from not being able to do anything to save the shrimp or fish. If I had been a deer or a person I could have done something. But anchored by my roots to the ground, I could not move. I vowed that if I were reborn as an animal or a human in a future life, I would devote all my efforts to protect the weak and helpless from the strong and powerful.
“When the heron had devoured all the shrimp and fish, only the crab remained. Still hungry, the heron said to the crab, ‘Nephew, I have carried all the fish and shrimp to the lotus pond where they now live happily. You are all alone here now. Let me take you to the new pond, too.’
“‘How will you carry me?’ asked the crab.
“‘In my beak, just as I carried all the others.’
“‘What if I slipped out and fell? My shell would shatter into a hundred pieces.’
“‘Don’t worry. I’ll carry you with utmost care.’
“The crab thought carefully. Perhaps the heron had kept his word and truly carried all the fish and shrimp to the lotus pond. But what if he had deceived them and eaten them all? The crab devised a plan to ensure his own safety. He said to the heron, ‘Uncle, I’m afraid your beak is not strong enough to hold me securely. Let me wrap my claws around your neck to hold on while you fly.’
“The heron agreed. He waited for the crab to crawl onto his neck and then spread his wings and flew into the air. But instead of carrying the crab to the lotus pond, he landed by the plumeria tree.
“‘Uncle, why don’t you put me down by the lotus pond? Why did we land here instead?’
“‘What heron would be so stupid as to carry a bunch of fish to a lotus pond? I am no benefactor, nephew. Do you see all those fish bones and shrimp shells at the foot of the plumeria? This is where your life will end, as well.’
“‘Uncle, the fish and shrimp may have been easily fooled, but you can’t trick me so easily. Take me to the lotus pond at once or I will cut off your head with my claws.’
“The crab began to dig his sharp claws into the heron’s neck. Seized by sharp pain, the heron cried out, ‘Don’t squeeze so hard! I’ll take you to the lotus pond right this minute! I promise I wont try to eat you!’
“The heron flew to the lotus pond where it intended to let the crab down by the water’s edge. But the crab did not release its hold on the heron’s neck. Thinking about all the fish and shrimp deceived by the heron, the crab dug its claws deeper and deeper into the heron’s neck until he cut right through it. The heron dropped down dead and the crab crawled into the water.
“Children, at that time I was the plumeria tree. I witnessed all these events. I learned that if we treat others kindly, we will be treated kindly in return; but if we treat others cruelly, sooner or later, we will suffer the same fate. I vowed that in all my future lives, I would endeavor to help other beings.”
Please practice your practice, whatever it may be, with Right Intention, Right Motivation, and with loving kindness for all beings. Ask yourself everyday why you say what you say. Why you blog what you blog. What are you trying to prove or gain from it. Are you trying to help others or place yourself on a pedestal? We are all teachers and we are all students. We need to learn and teach the Right lessons. If you are strong and powerful, do not prey on the weak. If you are weak, do not fall victim to the strong and powerful. Question your teachers. Question yourself. If you are not doing or saying something to benefit others than ask yourself why you are doing or saying these things.
May each and every one of us have loving compassion for ALL beings.
My love and Metta to you.
Michael _/|\_
Namo Sanghaya
I remember when I first started using Twitter, I had no idea what to do with it and had no idea what to tweet. I remember thinking to myself, man, this is pretty useless. Then I started to follow a few people who offered some daily inspiration and I started to see the potential of what it had to offer.
In our daily routine of life, time only allows for so much. My time is split in many different directions. My children always come first and foremost and then the rest of it is split up amongst family, friends and the community. In my earlier days of practice I used to think, man, when does this leave time for me? As the days went by I realized that “me”, and I use that word loosely, was a part of all of it. But even though I was a part of all of it and all of it was a part of me I still couldn’t find the time to find a Sangha that I could share and sit with. That’s where Twitter came in.
As I started to follow more and more individuals that walked the same path and started to read their thoughts and their blogs I started to feel a sense of relationship growing. I decided to start sharing more myself and as I began, something wonderful and amazing happened. The Sangha I was always looking to find, found me. How wonderful it is to share with beautiful people. How wonderful it is to know that even in the busiest of days, whether in the wee hours of the morning or the darkness of the night, someone who I love and care for is there and willing to share their day with me. Many times I just sit back and try to absorb as much as I can. Paying attention to each and every one I follow and learning so much from the lessons they share.
John (ZenDirtZenDust), you have been so kind to always answer my DM’s without ever telling me to go away. Always offering me any information you can and if you didn’t have the knowledge in your head you were kind enough to research it and send a link my way. I am so grateful to call you my friend.
Seiho Jaye Morris (digitalzendo), your blog posts are so close to home I feel as if sometimes you were reading my mind. You have taught me so much in so little time. The beautiful photos in your posts and your daily tweets are inspiration to each and every one of us walking the path. I am so grateful our paths have crossed.
Marguerite Manteau-Rao (MindDeep), your patience in your everyday life, your poems, the teachings you share, so much benefit to so many. You speak from the heart and are always there to offer help and answer questions. I see the relationship you share with so many others and know that one day ours will grow as well. Many bows to you. You are indeed an asset to the online Sangha.
Vinny (karmadrimed), What can I say. I love you man. You are the reason I still breath. You are the reason I walk this path. The daily conversations we share, the laughs, the ups and the downs. You are my dearest friend and I consider you part of my family. May you reach Enlightenment and be of benefit to all as you have been the greatest benefit to me.
Danny (Danny_789), Nate (PreciousMetal), Lara (larafoldvari), Paige (paige_reader), Brandon (metalbuddha), Jeffrey (Dharmmaman), Steven (StevenCaldwell), Anoki (buddhabadges), Thank you for filling my days with love and compassion. Thank you for sharing your ups and your downs and helping to make my online Sangha a beautiful place.
_karmadorje, ReformedBuddha, flylikeacrow, DharmaRatUranda, ZenOutlaw, Dharmapala, scottbrown, pamelamarie8, checkback, DOGENZEN, dhammagirl, moosebegab, loveroflifenh, carolann3888, ohiobuddhist, Vajra3, Buddha_Bones, DharmaTalks, and DrumsofDharma, youre tweets are like hugs. Continue your path and may we grow closer and introduce each other so I can attach a name to go along with the love you have filled within me.
If I have not mentioned you it is not because I do not care. It is not because I do not wish to get to know you better. It is only because we have not yet had the opportunity for our friendship to blossom. To all of those who I have just met and to all of those that I hope to meet, may we approach each and every day full of loving compassion for all beings.
So I don’t know what Twitter is to you. I don’t know how you feel about online social networking. And although as part of my practice I remain open to the fact that it will not be around for ever and try my best to not be attached. But for now, I am humbled, I am grateful, and I offer each and every one of you all my love.
May we continue to share, learn, teach and love one another. Namo Sanghaya. _/|\_
Michael
Shut up and Listen!
The following is a conversation I had with a Home Depot Employee earlier today:
ME – Excuse me Sean (reading name badge), I have a question about locksets and was wondering if you could..
Sean – Dude! (interrupting me) What the hell are those bumps in your arm?
Me – Uhm they’re called implants. So anyways I was….
Sean – Like, did that shit hurt?
Me – Yes they did. So. Kwickset locksets, can I…
Sean – And man those tats are crazy! Did they hurt?
Me – Some did, yes. Hey, can you get me someone who can help me with locksets. I have a few questions.
Sean – Well why didn’t you just ask me then.
Me – You’re right. My apologies.
End of conversation as I politely excused myself and walked away.
Ok, so I look a bit different from most and this is one of the reasons why I try to research things myself without having to rely on others to help me. I try to call places that I am going to go to first as well so this way they can only hear my voice and hopefully be a bit more responsive to what I am asking instead of randomly blurting out nonsense. People tend to listen more when there are fewer distractions. I’m not trying to make this post about me at all. What I am trying to point out is that you can not be a good listener and offer sound advice, good service or an honest opinion to a friend if you are too busy trying to get answers to dumb questions or follow your random thoughts. Be mindful.
Are you a good listener? When you are in a conversation with someone at work who really needs your help are you truly listening or are you thinking about what you want later for dinner?
When a good friend truly needs your advice or opinion are you listening to them with full attention focused on the topic or question at hand or are you looking around and wondering if you should stop and get some beer on the way home.
What about when a family member calls to say hi. Are they getting your full attention or are you watching YouTube videos or playing world of warcraft in the background repeatedly saying, yup, uh huh, yup?
I’m not saying that my mind doesn’t tend to want to wander off sometimes when I talk to someone. What I’m trying to say is we need to recognize that we are wandering and bring ourselves back to mindful listening. You would want someone to listen to you so why not do the same for them? Studies show that only approximately 10% of our speech is transmitted through words. The rest is body language. Do you honestly think that people can’t see your eyes looking all around? Make eye contact, stand up straight. If you can’t hear them clearly, move a bit closer or ask to move to a quieter spot, and always remember to shut up. Keep quiet until it is your turn to speak. Don’t keep trying to pitch in your two cents. Let them finish. Right speech quickly defined means to tell the truth, to speak friendly, warm, and gently and to talk only when necessary. It’s necessary to answer the question. NOT to interrupt just to hear your own voice. It gets frustrating for the person talking and also makes them feel as if you don’t care what they have to say.
If you listen with mindful clarity and keep your thoughts at check you will be of much more benefit to the other person. Isn’t the purpose of our lives, to live a life of purpose by benefiting all that we can? I know it’s the purpose of mine. Granted, not all people have the same goals. Not everyone wants to live the life of a Bodhisattva. Not everyone walks a spiritual path, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t treat people they way they would want to be treated. If you would love for people to listen to you, then listen to them. If you would love for people to respect you, then show respect for them. Your views and opinions in most instances WILL differ. That’s fine and it shouldn’t affect whether or not you pay attention to them.
The next time you’re having a conversation with someone, whether on the phone or in person, pay attention to them. Listen to them. Show them that you truly care about what they have to say. Show them respect and if and when, and only if and when your input is needed, then offer it. Otherwise, and my apologies for my directness. Shut up and listen!
May you approach every interaction with another being with an open and compassionate mind, free of random thoughts and useless chatter.
My love and Metta to you always.
Michael _/|\_
Suffering
Sometimes not helping is the best help we can give. Sometimes silence is the best answer to a question. Why is this? Because sometimes people are just not ready to accept the answers.
I’ve recently crossed paths with a wonderful person that is seeking real answers to some hard questions and I don’t know how to respond. It’s a very hard situation because if you take a step back and look at the big picture of it all we both know the answer. Problem is, it’s not an easy one to swallow.
I’ve spent the majority of my day in meditative thought trying to figure out what I can do. I sit here now wondering, what can I say that can be of benefit to her and others that are seeking answers to hard questions. Questions that myself, once sought the answers to. The only thing I can tell you is this, accept the truth that we all suffer.
As Buddha said to Malunkyaputta when asked about answers to metaphysical questions, “Suffering has causes which can be illuminated in order to be removed. The things I teach will help you attain detachment, equanimity, peace, and liberation. I refuse to speak about all those things which are not helpful in realizing the Way.”
Every one of us has questions floating through our mind that we think we need the answers to. But you need to ask yourself, ‘What are those answers going to prove and how will they be of benefit to others.‘
‘Its important to always return to the understanding that suffering is not personal. It’s an integral part of being alive and something that we all share. A great deal of understanding can come from bringing awareness to suffering, rather than thinking about or judging it. A quality of wakefulness comes with any sensation, which enables us to appreciate any experience.’ -dzigar kongtrül
May you accept the truth of suffering, learn the cause of suffering, know that you can cease suffering and walk the path which will lead to its end.
My love and metta to you all.
Michael _/|\_
Forgiveness
I have been thinking about my mother lately, it’s been quite a while since we have spoken. So today I decided to leave her a message on facebook just saying hello and hoping everything was well with her and her husband. I told her a little about what was going on in my children’s lives and clicked ‘comment’ with no expectations. Later on in the day she responded and in her response she asked me for some forgiveness. I didn’t hesitate to pick up the phone to call.
At first I was a little worried about what might be said and how I would react. Was my practice rooted in me enough to truly forgive and move on? Was the conversation going to be a he said she said type of thing? I accepted the thoughts then let them pass. As our conversation progressed the thoughts never returned. It was just very nice to hear my mother’s voice. We talked for an hour and never once did anything negative arise in our dialogue. We said good-bye and as I hung up the phone I wanted to tell her that I loved her but just couldn’t seem to get the words to come out.
After our talk I decided to hop on my bike and go for a ride. I do some of my best thinking while cycling, something about the open road and the lactic acid burning in my legs keeps me centered. I thought about the conversation. I thought about what had led us to why we stopped talking. I thought about why I didn’t tell her I loved her as I hung up, and I thought about her asking me for forgiveness.
I realized that it was very nice to hear her voice. It was her voice that comforted me as a child. She was always the one I went to when something was wrong, when I didn’t feel good or had a bad dream. She was the one that read to me, raised me and kept me safe. And just as her voice comforted me then it comforted me now. I realized that ignorance coupled with arrogance and the inability to let go is what stopped us from having a relationship as parent and child should. I realized that I should have told her I loved her because I do and I also realized that there is no need for forgiveness when you learn to let go and let be.
As I sit here now in front of this machine sharing my life with you my ego is still trying to recall all the wrongs from the past. It wants guarantees for the future like it would even make a difference. But these are just thoughts. Sure the past was a bumpy road but it is there for us to learn from. The future, well who knows what the future brings and to dwell or worry about it would simply be a waste of time and energy. What I do know, is at this moment. The Now. I am happy and mom, if you are reading this, I love you. I always have and always will.
“He abused me, mistreated me, defeated me, robbed me.”
Harboring such thoughts keeps hatred alive.
“He abused me, mistreated me, defeated me, robbed me.”
Releasing such thoughts banishes hatred for all time.
-Dhammapada (1:3,4)
May you let go and forgive yourself for not forgiving others. May you truly, openly and compassionately help to benefit all beings and release them from the grasps of samsara. My love and metta to you as always.
Michael _/|\_
Mindfulness matters.
Vigilance is the path of immortal royalty,
Negligence, the path that leads to death.
Those who are vigilant do not die.
Those who are negligent are already dead.
-Dhammapada
This morning while at work I was on a ladder trying to drill a self tapping screw into a metal beam while holding up a ten foot piece of one inch steel conduit. Every time I just about got the screw to where it needed to go it would fall from the head of the drill 15 feet down to the ground. This repeatedly happened for three tries. I started to get frustrated and for a split second I let it get the best of me. As I climbed down to pick up the screws I smacked my head on the ladder and at that moment I paused.
Many things went through my mind, not all of them pleasant but thankfully I was mindful enough to let go of the emotion and focus on my breath. After about 6 or 7 inhales and exhales I regained my composure and started again, this time clear and mindful. What do you know, I didn’t drop anymore screws, I accomplished my task and had a very pleasant day.
Things are going to happen in life that are unexpected and annoying, but only if we choose to view them this way. I could have reacted in many different ways and years ago I probably would have thrown my drill half way across the room and the rest of my day would have been ruined.
Being mindful isn’t something you should just do while meditating or taking a walk. Mindfulness should be a moment by moment practice. Is it easy? No, you will slip. We all slip. It’s catching ourselves before we fall that matters. Even if we fall, it’s getting back up and starting fresh that matters. Mindfulness matters.
‘It is our mind that governs our actions and decides what we do: It is neither our body nor our speech. Mind is the primary factor in that it rules body and speech: if we want to go somewhere, mind has the power to direct the body to get going. It also has the power to cause us to say pleasant or harsh words.’ – Kalu Rínpoche
May you approach each and every moment, each and every step, each and every being, mindful and full of compassion. You are the only one who has the power to change you.
My love and metta to you all.
Michael _/|\_
Oh Noes,the labels.
This morning, someone I follow on twitter and care about stated a brief comment about how it was Monday morning once again. Walking to my car I said hello to someone and mentioned how beautiful a morning it was and they replied, ‘yes, but it’s Monday’. So many people put labels on so many things that they forget what it’s true identity really is. It’s the present moment. It’s always the present moment.
Last night I read a great blog post by a good friend entitled ‘Just this life’. In this post Jack clarifies what so many forget. “Just This” That’s all it is and has to be. Everything Just is. Everything is empty of everything. Everything is full of everything. As soon as we label it we are letting our ego take over and by doing so we begin to have dogmatic views and biased opinions on what just is, just was. We no longer see the truth.
When we constantly label the days we tend to feel happy come Friday and miserable come Monday. When in actuality each day is just as beautiful. So many live for the weekend. “I can’t wait till Friday! Then I’ll be happy.” If the weekend is the only thing you live for that brings you happiness then you need to look within. Lets see, there are only 104 weekend days a year. 104. That’s it. So what, the other 261 days of your life you’re miserable? That just doesn’t seem like a life I would want to live. If we learn to appreciate the truth without label we will realize that everyday has the potential to bring us happiness which will give us the means to spread that happiness to all beings.
Studies have confirmed that indeed, more people suffer heart attacks on Mondays — 20% more than on the other six days. That to me is just crazy. Of course not all of us are going to love our jobs and even the ones that do are going to have some off days. But if we practice waking up, taking a breath and appreciating the moment label free, I am sure all beings would benefit greatly.
Learn from the past, don’t worry about the future, and live in the NOW. Happiness and loving kindness reside within us all. Appreciate the moments without label or judgement. Put others before you and live a life of love.
May your days be free from labels and may you approach all obstacles with an open and compassion mind.
My love to you and yours.
Michael
_/|\_
A good friend.
Today was a busy day. In the midst of the busy day I had a few visitors, one of which is a very good friend of mine, the other was my father. My wife was at work and my children were with their grandmother visiting family and having a wonderful time swimming and playing. This time alone gave me the opportunity to get a lot of things accomplished including setting up my altar in my new place.
When my family returned home I was asked about my day. I mentioned that A very good friend stopped by and we had a very nice conversation about the dharma. At that, my daughter asked, “Dad, how do you know when someone is a very good friend?” I paused for a second before responding and reached for one of my favorite books and this is what I read to her. It is a segment of a conversation that Buddha had with a merchant named Sigala while visiting Rajagaha.
He said, “A good friend is constant. Whether you are rich or poor, happy or sad, successful or unsuccessful, a good friend is one whose feelings for you do not waver. A good friend listens to you and shares your sufferings. He shares his own joys and sorrows with you, while regarding your joys and sorrows as his own.”
She then asked, “Will I ever have a friends like this?”
I replied, “You already do.”
May you touch the hearts of all those you meet and embrace them with pure loving kindness.
Michael _/|\_
Tears of Joy
So I recently moved from a not so pleasant place to a beautiful community and words can not express the happiness that is flowing through me.
My first day in my new place I go out to check my mail just for ha ha’s and to my surprise there was a card. A card. For me. I opened it up to read a beautiful welcome to the neighborhood message from two of the most beautiful people who I have had the wonderful opportunity of crossing paths with. At that moment the card was no longer a card but yet a hug. A tear trickled down my cheek.
Last night as my family and I were slowly going through the process of unpacking, another amazing thing happened. My father stopped by to visit. Although it was brief and with a purpose, it meant the world to me. I barely talk to my dad and to have him stop by, even for a few moments was absolute bliss. I would have given him a hug, but I can not honestly recall ever hugging or being hugged by my father. His visit was all the hug I needed.
Today while I was at work my sister-in-law called me and asked if she could stop by and take my kids swimming since they were home alone due to the fact that myself and my wife were working. My children got to spend the day with their aunt and their cousins. To hear the excitement in my children’s voices and to see the smiles on their faces when I returned home from work was absolutely heart warming.
Then, to put the icing on my day, one of my very good friends stops by to bring me homemade bread and a dozen fresh eggs straight from her chickens. Fresh bread, a smiling face and a warm embrace from a good friend will melt my heart any day.
Needless to say, the tears of joy have not stopped flowing. As I sit here typing tears slowly make their way from my eyes to my lips. If anyone ever asks what happiness tastes like, tell them its salty.
Every bit of this happiness that I am bursting at the seams with is owed all to my brother who helped me get out of the god awful place I was in. There is no way I could have ever done it without his financial and mental support. I wish I could find the words to tell him how grateful I am. I wish I could embrace him and tell him I love him and I am so happy that he helped give me the opportunity to give my children a better life. I hope he knows how much he has benefited the well-being of myself and my family. Stuart, I love you and I thank you. A truly deep bow to you. _/|\_
Never underestimate what things you can do for others and how much those things can be of benefit. Embrace all you love and learn to love more. Put others before you always and their happiness will become yours. I promise you that if you practice pure loving kindness you will be of great benefit to all beings.
My love to you all and a huge virtual hug. May you live through love. _/|\_
Michael
Love to Love.
It seems my whole life I have been fighting for the love of someone. When I was younger it was my parents. I would have done anything, I mean anything to get a hug from my dad or have my mom love me all the time not just when it was convenient to her. As I grew older I found myself in and out of relationships and friendships because it always seemed as if I would give the shirt off my back for them but they would either hurt me or break my heart. Now married with children it seems I am still constantly fighting for love. This time though it’s the love of my wife and children.
Why is it that so many of us can love without conditions while others only love if the conditions suit them. I see it everyday, everywhere. Friends bashing friends one minute than sharing joy and compassion the next. Couples holding hands then not talking to each other because of something one said or the way they acted. Is it really love to begin with then. Seriously. If you can just shut your love and feelings off at the drop of a hat did you really truly love them to begin with. I think the problem is, is that most people have no idea what love is actually all about. To most, it’s a strange feeling they get when they watch a chic flick or the lust they feel for someone they just met. But these have conditions. eventually that feeling of lust will wear off and then what? People need to love each other properly. But they have to start with loving who they are. It is much easier to spread and share loving compassion with others when you are a loving and compassionate person to begin with. You can’t fake compassion, although there are way too many out there that try. They try to act sincere, they try to say just the right things, but it’s all an illusion. As soon as you walk away the first thing they are doing is making fun of you or putting you down. Why? Are they doing it to hurt you? Probably not. They’re probably doing it to make themselves feel better and win the love or attention of someone else. So does this mean we should stop being compassionate towards others? Not what I am saying at all. What I am saying is that it is hard, and sometimes so frustrating that you just want to say fuck it. There are so many times that I just want to go hide in a cave somewhere and avoid every human being I can. But what will that solve? Probably not a whole hell of a lot.
The thing is, there comes a time in your life when you have to realize that love does not have boundaries, it does not have conditions and all beings want to be loved. Look at myself. I, for so long, loved with the expectation to be loved in return, only to get disappointed when the feeling wasnt shared. I didn’t stop loving, but I was constantly depressed. What I do now is just love. No expectations, no conditions. If you are only doing something with the intentions of getting something in return, then shame on you. Shame on me, like I said I was there. Do I still get frustrated and feel like going to hide? absolutely. The difference is now though is that I accept the frustration and let it pass. Who cares if they don’t love me back. What, does that mean I should stop loving them? Well, you can do what you like but I am going to continue to love them all no matter what. Am I going to get hurt, frustrated, or depressed? Only if I choose to hold onto the attachment of the expectation. I think instead I am just going to simply love with all my heart because all beings wish for loving compassion and all deserve to be loved. Expect nothing. Love all.
Have a wonderful weekend and my love to you all. _/|\_
What about me?
Today I want to share a very nice video done by Mipham. It is titled ‘What about me”. It is very well done and to the point. So if you haven’t seen this before I highly recommend you watching it and if you have, well, it doesn’t hurt to watch it again. Great lesson. Great reminder. Enjoy.
When you’re happy that makes me happy!
That’s the formula. First you. Then me.
PERFECT!
_/|\_
Don’t push me. Push a push pop!
When you label or pass judgment on someone, who do you really think you’re judging? You’re judging yourself of course. You just don’t realize it. Or you realize it but lack the humility and integrity to do something about it. Misjudging a person because they don’t fit into one of your ego manifested little categories of crap is pretty much crap its self. Just the simple fact that all the labeling you do, all the judging you do is done by your ego, just to fuel its’ fire. There comes a point in your life where you have to wake up and realize this! Passing judgment on someone to make yourself feel better is garbage. All you are doing is feeding your ego and generating bad merit. Really! What are you gaining? Absolutely nothing. So why do it? We even do it to our friends, our loved ones, our family. Every time we see someone we slap some kind of label on them like a fucking bumper sticker. And I don’t know about you but I’ve tried to remove bumper stickers, they don’t remove easily and if they do, they leave a mark.
Compassion should be unconditional. We truly should have love and compassion for all beings. Imagine if every being had full loving compassion for every being. It’s only impossible because we are so attached to this “self”. We can’t let go so we create conditions. Those conditions create labels which are then placed and categorized by your ego’s judgments. Poor judgments the majority of the time.
Now, in case some of you haven’t noticed, I have a few tattoos. Well, one of the very unfortunate things that comes along with being different is that you get to see just how bad some peoples egos are. People can be very cruel and it’s very sad to witness it. I used to get frustrated when people labeled me. I wasn’t mad but at the same time I wasn’t sure what I was. As the time passed I came to realize that what I was feeling was sadness. It’s upsetting to see someone consumed by their ego. I remember when I was there and I still have battles with it from time to time because I too have not let go of “self”. At times I wish I could just approach people and give them a hug or something. Instead I just smile, silently offer them an Om Mani Pendme Hung, and remind myself ‘My actions My karma. Their actions Their karma. I’ve noticed that in most cases, the people who pass the worst judgments are very uncomfortable with themselves.
Now remember, not all people are this way and one of the very fortunate things that comes along with being different is that you get to see just how “real” a person can be. It is a wonderful feeling to cross paths with a truly good person. And to witness a person who truly doesn’t pass judgment, doesn’t label and just simply loves…there’s no words.
_/|\_ Om Mani Pedme Hung _/|\_
It’s your Choice.
So yesterday somebody asked me, how do I deal with people I don’t like or how do I deal with people who are hard to deal with. I guess the first thing you have to ask yourself, is what is it about them that you don’t like? If it’s something that is selfish or something that is based around your ego, then what the fuck, lol, you’re just as bad as that person I guess. I mean you’re not giving that person a chance if your decision on what you don’t like about them is bias and based only on what you already labeled or judged them as. So I guess that’s the first thing you got to do.
The second thing you need to do is be open and forgiving. I mean, not everybody is on the path or any kinda path for that matter. A lot of people are still fumbling through life trying to figure out what the journey is all about. Well you know. When you fumble through life wondering what the journey’s all about then obviously not all your decisions are going to be the correct ones, your actions, your thoughts, your speech, I mean everything. It’s not gonna have no guidance, no morals, no nothing. It’s just gonna be whatever you want.. it’s kinda like takin a puppy and never training the puppy, just letting the puppy pee wherever it wants. It has no discipline, so can you really get upset or have any other feeling but compassion for somebody who doesn’t have any guidance or discipline. I don’t know. Yes, there are a few people in my life that I would rather not deal with, so I guess to answer the question, ‘with the people out there that I can’t deal with what do I do? Uhm, I avoid them. You know what I mean. It’s not easy avoiding them all the time though. There are few in my life that my daughter benefits greatly from and it’s very hard, because that makes it to where I have to deal with people I would normally avoid. So, I guess that’s where the forgiveness, the compassion and the being open comes in. I mean I’ve been practicing Buddhism for many years now and I feel I have a pretty good understanding of my path. Obviously I have many years of practice to go but at least I have an understanding-ish. But at the same time I have no solid fact based of knowing that the path that I’m on is the “correct” one either, so I think it would be pretty dogmatic of me to sit here and just shut out their views, ideas and opinions just because I have my views, ideas and opinions.
Everyday in life we have to deal with situations we don’t want to be in, places we don’t want to go, people we don’t want to see, things you don’t want to wear. The thing is you just have to get down to why. Why are these things bothering you so much. You know, like I said, if it’s bothering you because of your selfishness. ’I don’t want to wear a suit because I don’t like the way it feels or I don’t want to talk to that guy because I don’t like his hair or I dont want to go to work because my boss pisses me off. ’ Well you know what. There’s going to be people out there that are going to piss you off, you are going to have at least one boss that is a prick, and you’re gonna find yourself in situations you would rather not be in. So you can approach them closed, non compassionate and non forgiving, or you can approach them Open, Forgiving and full of Love.
It’s your Choice.
Speaking of not speaking.
Have you ever been deep in conversation with someone just to realize they aren’t paying a lick of attention to you. Does this happen often. It might be because your words lack meaning. There are a few people whom I have to talk with on occasion that I would love to be intrigued with and devote my complete attention to while talking with them but I just can’t. The reason is idle chatter. Every conversation is usually about the same limited topics and I find that most people who feel the need to always talk, constantly repeat themselves like it’s going to be more interesting the second or third time you hear the same shit. Trust me, it’s not. Let’s face it, do you listen to that little annoying brake squeal in your car or do you simply turn the radio up. If you want people to truly listen to what you have to say then talk less and about more. Be mindful of your topic. Be mindful of your audience. I’m not going to talk about Buddhism with someone who feels spiritual beliefs are a waste of time. Therefore, I try and be mindful of what I am about to say and more often than most, I simply don’t speak.
Now I am far from being free of idle chatter myself. I do, from time to time, catch myself rambling on about nonsense or spitting out useless facts like I was trying out for an episode of Jeopardy, but for the most part I try to make sure my topics and words have meaning. I remember watching my parents when I was younger. Every day at the dinner table it was the same thing. My mother bitched about her job and my father bitched about his. To be honest, almost every conversation I can ever remember them having was about their work and how much they hated it. They felt that even if they were venting their crap to each other than it was a form of communication and it was good for them. Well, they are divorced now and sadly enough I rarely speak with either of them. Could better conversation and a different choice of topic been a savior to their marriage? Who knows, but it definitely couldn’t have hurt to have tried. So the next time you are talking with your friends or conversing with your spouse, take the time and think your words over. You may actually find that there is a tremendous amount of joy and happiness in saying nothing at all.
May you sit in the company of yourselves and others, Quietly. _/|\_
That’s the problem of samsara
Through out my morning I have been reflecting back on the past few weeks and the ups and downs I went through and why. I know I have talked about attachment recently, but I feel that many don’t truly understand attachment to its fullest. Myself being one of them. Everytime something slips by and I try to grasp for it I am already too late. Too late not just by the fact that I missed it but that it was never there to begin with. I was grasping at an idea, a feeling. How many of us do this more often than they would like to admit. You even know that you are grasping, reaching out for nothing but yet you continue, only to witness the emotion that your ego is going to hammer you with. Why do we continue doing it then? Because Letting Go isn’t always as easy as it sounds. To truly Let Go means to rest your mind in itself. It’s pure self, not something you are grasping to.
I would like to share two teachings with you that Tilopa gave to his student Naropa. You can find these and many other teachings by reading The Life of Naropa.
-Tilopa then handed a string full of knots to Naropa and asked him to untie them. Naropa did it and gave the string back. Tilopa threw it aside and asked Naropa what he understood.
Naropa replied, “All beings are tied by the eight worldly dharmas, and we need to untie them.” (The eight worldly dharmas are: praise / criticism; fame / disgrace; gain / loss; happiness / misery) “Once we have done so we have to remain natural and rest the mind in itself without being artificial. We have to get rid of all our expectations, hopes and fear.”
“We always hope to be praised and we are afraid of being criticized.”
“We are looking for fame and we are afraid of being disgraced.”
“We want to gain something and we are afraid of losing it.”
“We are striving for happiness and we are afraid of misery.”
-Tilopa came to Naropa, looked at him and asked, “Aren’t you going to ask me for more instructions?”
Naropa quickly got up, started to prostrate in front of Tilopa and requested instructions from him. Immediately Tilopa left. Naropa followed him and they came to a big plain with sand. Not far from them they saw a man walking on the sand.
Tilopa said, “Well, if I had a good disciple then he would go immediately and catch that man, otherwise he is going to harm me.”
Naropa went to catch the man but he couldn’t. He run and run, but could never reach the man. Finally Naropa fell totally exhausted on the ground.
Tilopa came up to him and asked “What happened?” Naropa told him that he was trying to catch the man but that he could not reach him. It was just like a phantom or a mirage.
Tilopa then said, “Well, that’s how it is in samsara. Everybody is running after illusionary things and always trying to attain something which is not really there. That’s the problem of samsara.
This certianly is a problem. It is one that I have been working on for many years and I’m sure for many years to come. I read dharma for guidance and to remind myself that at this point in my life I still need guidance. As you can see. I still refer to myself as I.
May you Let Go. _/|\_ Metta to you.
It takes Understanding to Understand
“Dad, I just don’t understand why he doesn’t get it.
I keep telling him over and over and I’m trying
to make myself as clear as possible
but he still isn’t getting it.
Why?”
“Hmm.
So you don’t understand why he is misinterpreting
a word created to try to define something
that only exists in a concept
that was manifested by
the ignorance of your own mind?
Hmm.
Nope.
Sorry,
I have no idea.”
Because I can
So there’s this old man sitting out on his front porch when the young teenager, who lives across the street comes flying down the road whipping into the driveway. As the kid exits his car the old man yells “Hey there son, why you have to drive so fast like that? You could hurt someone or yourself.” The kid turns around and yells back, ” ’cause I can!”
As the old man turns to sit back down the kid yells kinda sarcastically, “Hey gramps! Why do you even care?!”
The old man softly replies, “Because I can.”
____________________________________________________________________________________
Spread love and compassion to all. Because you can. _/|\_
Dont wake me I’m meditating.
Give me a yoga mat, a Zafu and a quiet room and you might as well set my alarm clock because I’m gonna fall asleep. I love Meditation but sitting meditation for me is just a nap waiting to happen.
Many people think that meditation means to sit still, very quiet and try to rid your mind of all thoughts. And when they can’t do it, they get frustrated and often give up. To me meditation means to be aware. To rid my mind of the millions of useless thoughts running around in my head fighting for my attention. It means to be open and clear. To be fully aware of my surroundings and live every moment in the Now.
Can you do this sitting? Absolutely. Just because I can’t doesn’t mean many aren’t very successful. My favorite meditation practices though, are breath, walking and of course cycling. Breath meditation is my automatic go to. I can always focus on my breath no matter where I am or what I am doing and I have been doing it for so many years that it has become second nature.
Walking meditation is my daily practice. Either in the morning, evening or both, I love a nice walk. Sometimes I enjoy doing breath meditation while I’m walking, those are the times I usually end up calling for a ride home because I walked to far to want to walk back lol.
That brings me to cycling. I started practicing meditation while cycling first to try to help me from wanting to hurl every time I climbed a long hill. As my cardio improved as with my riding I started to just ride and meditate. To peddle down the open road surrounded by so much life while being aware of it all, in the moment with no scattered thoughts, is simply amazing. Here I am, fully aware. So aware that I realize, that I am not even there. There is no I, there is only Now. Even Now is so empty. Everything and nothing all at once, in that moment, so clear, so beautiful, so full and yet so empty.
So the next time you get frustrated because you fall asleep while trying to do sitting meditation, don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t give up. Maybe sitting just isn’t for you. Try breath, try walking. Meditation is a way of life. A practice to help with or simply to be your practice. And practice takes practice. 
May each and every moment of your day be full of compassion and love for All beings. _/|\_
